What to Do When Your Child Doesn’t Listen

It can be frustrating and even disheartening when your child doesn’t seem to listen. But with patience and the right strategies, you can turn these challenges into opportunities for growth and better communication. Below are practical steps to address the issue and foster mutual understanding.

1. Check Your Approach

How you communicate affects how your child responds.

• Stay calm: Raising your voice can make your child tune out or become defensive. Speak in a firm yet kind tone.
• Get their attention: Ensure they’re not distracted by technology or other activities before you speak. For example, say, “Could you pause that for a moment? I need to talk to you.”

2. Use Clear and Concise Language

Long or complicated instructions can overwhelm your child.

• Be specific: Instead of saying, “Clean your room,” say, “Please put your clothes in the hamper and toys in the bin.”
• Repeat if necessary: Sometimes children need to hear things more than once to fully understand or prioritize.

3. Connect Before You Correct

Building rapport before addressing a behavior encourages cooperation.

• Empathize: Acknowledge their feelings, e.g., “I know you’re tired after school, but we need to tidy up before dinner.”
• Engage: Use a gentle touch on the shoulder or maintain eye contact to reinforce connection.

4. Set Clear Expectations and Follow Through

Consistency helps children understand that listening is non-negotiable.

• Outline consequences: Let them know what will happen if they don’t listen, such as losing screen time.
• Be consistent: Follow through with consequences calmly and fairly when needed.

5. Reinforce Positive Listening Behavior

Praise your child when they listen to encourage the behavior in the future.

• Acknowledge their efforts: Say things like, “Thank you for listening the first time; it really helps us work together.”
• Reward cooperation: Offer small rewards like extra playtime or a special outing to reinforce positive habits.

When to Seek Additional Support

If your child consistently refuses to listen despite your best efforts, it might be worth consulting a counselor or pediatrician to rule out underlying issues such as ADHD or auditory processing challenges.

Conclusion

Teaching your child to listen is a journey that requires patience, clear communication, and consistency. By applying these strategies, you can create a more cooperative and harmonious home environment where everyone feels heard and respected.

Bibliography used to write “What to do when your child doesn’t listen”

• Bilbao, Á. (s.f.). Mi hijo no me escucha cuando le hablo: ¿Qué hago?. Recuperado de https://alvarobilbao.com/mi-hijo-no-me-escucha-cuando-le-hablo
• Understood.org. (s.f.). Cómo logré que mi hijo me escuche (sin gritarle). Recuperado de https://www.understood.org/es-mx/articles/getting-my-child-to-listen-without-yelling
• HealthyChildren.org. (s.f.). Cómo comunicarse con su adolescente. Recuperado de https://www.healthychildren.org/Spanish/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Paginas/How-to-Communicate-with-a-Teenager.aspx
• UNICEF. (s.f.). 11 consejos para hablar con un hijo adolescente. Recuperado de https://www.unicef.es/blog/salud-mental/educacion/11-consejos-para-hablar-con-un-hijo-adolescente